Junk Drawer
For all those little papers scattered across your desk
Junk DrawerFor all those little papers scattered across your desk
Want to know what it takes to succeed during your Freshman year on a college campus? So did Lee Bierer.
Update 2024 August 18th: the original articles have disappeared. Part 1 exists on the Wayback Machine, as was Part 2.
To avoid future link rot, I’m hosting the article contents here, too. They were written by Lee Bierer.
Last fall, I reached out to Ben Knoble for his wisdom on adjusting to freshman year of college.
Ben was a 2016 Ardrey Kell High School graduate and had just started at UNC Chapel Hill. His sage words resonated with students and parents, and so I thought I would circle back and find out how the rest of his year went.
At the end of his first year, he’s still happy and can comfortably say he has “no regrets.”
In high school, Ben was a high-achieving student who chose to conduct a very thorough college search process. As the son of two Tar Heel grads, Chapel Hill was a very familiar place and yet he was still open-minded about other kinds of college experiences. He researched and visited colleges locally and as far away as California. So it was a little surprising that in the end he chose to attend UNC Chapel Hill.
Ben offers some great advice to freshmen in this Part 1 of a 4-part “Lessons Learned” series. Ben and I are both hoping that these columns will be helpful for high school seniors about to graduate and head off to college in the fall and for parents desperate to impart some actionable wisdom.
Today, Ben’s talking about how to take advantage of your newfound independence, dabble in activities, explore your passions. But don’t go crazy – strive for balance.
“What do you think made the biggest contribution to your successful freshman year?”
I’ll be honest; a large portion of it was natural independence. I don’t need a lot; I don’t mind a simple life, and I don’t spend money frequently. That lends itself, as you might expect, to an easier college transition. But that is only the beginning. Once you’re used to how college runs, how you keep up with what’s going on and how you de-stress, you want to start branching out some.
You hear about all the fun things your very “Type-A” friends are doing (if you are Type-A, kudos to you—you’ll more than likely be fine if you don’t overload your plate). You want to get involved. And this is where that light first semester really helps out.
If you have time to discover your passions on campus, they’ll be built into your schedule already before you start adding more and more. And while that can seem daunting—adding more and more activities until you feel like your plate is finally full—it’s not. Remember, this is college. These are probably the best years of your young life. Enjoy them. Don’t be afraid to try something new just because a friend mentioned it (but be safe). And if it doesn’t work out, oh well. Drop it, and keep your eyes open for the next thing.
But I know as well as anybody that sometimes it all gets to you. You get home one evening from lab, and you know you still have things to do. Are you really going to be excited about your get-together tomorrow? Here’s the secret—yes. Yes, you will. In the morning. Right now, you’ve got to do exactly what you need to do to relax and get a good night’s sleep. If that’s shutting yourself in with Netflix and a fuzzy blanket, people will understand. If that’s getting dinner with those two friends who always give you a stitch in your side, they’ll be happy to pick you up.
Your friends and your de-stress activities, those are the strongest pieces of your support network. They hold you up so that you can sleep without worry and wake up tomorrow feeling brand new. And then you can be happy that you’re so involved.
Check back next week for Part 2, where you can learn more from Ben about the importance of making connections freshman year.
When students share what makes them anxious about heading off to college, most of them confess that they’re concerned about leaving the social comforts of high school; their “friend group” and their familiar surroundings.
They wonder whether they will miss their high school friends and family too much. They’re nervous about whether or not they will fit in and if they will make a good first impression. It’s scary starting over.
But for some, this is the challenge that they’re most excited about. For them, going to college is all about the opportunity for a clean slate and starting fresh.
Many students who are proud of how they’ve matured during high school are ecstatic to go somewhere and not have the baggage of their dumb moves from sophomore year, or of not being surrounded by their ex and their ex’s friends.
But for everybody, freshman year is about connecting and making new friends. I asked Ben Knoble, a 2016 Ardrey Kell grad and a soon-to-be sophomore at UNC Chapel Hill how he felt about making the social transition to college.
Ben Knoble, a soon-to-be UNC sophomore: Friends made freshman year often end up being a student’s closest friends. Do you feel that you have made friends for life? Why? Why not?
Yes. Absolutely, unequivocally, yes. “Why” tends to vary from group to group. My freshman friends are from the surrounding dorm area.
We went through the ups and downs of a very exciting first year together. We cried for each other’s breakups, celebrated birthdays and jumped in unison during horror movies in the lounge. We know each other’s passions and fears. We may be spreading out over campus this coming fall, but when we need a friend or two, there they’ll be in our group chat, lovingly entitled “4th Floor Plus.”
Sometimes, though, friendships develop purely out of common interests. You know, like how all of your friends in band seem to know everyone? I’ve made lifelong friends that way too. Sure, it starts with band, or a campus ministry group, or that computer science club that’s as quirky as you can imagine. Slowly, you get to know the faces. Maybe there are even nametags to help you out. And as you show up more often, talk to people more often, you find a couple of people that resonate with you. They make your day when they show up.
Maybe you have deep conversations about the universe with your ministry group, or maybe it’s just being part of a bigger whole in band, or maybe it’s collaborating on projects or playing a good old-fashioned round of Super Smash Bros., but you find the people whose presence you miss sorely. Before you know it, you can’t wait to be back with those people.
Sometimes friends crop up in strange places. Early in second semester, I had a group of friends decide that we wanted to eat lunch together one Monday. So we got in touch, figured out when, and showed up at the dining hall (Lenoir, for you UNC-bound folks), and began the eternal struggle that is finding a place to fit four people. And we had a great time talking. So the following Wednesday and Friday, when our schedules lined up, we did it again. And again. And again. And whoever got to Lenoir first had the wonderful responsibility of finding a table.
Thus, the table-finding squad was born, and the four of us went on to eat lunch together 3 times a week, barring exceptional circumstances. We ate our last meal together for the semester one Friday night. We took photos in which we all lovingly glared at each other and said our goodbyes. The group chat, however, has still not died down, with a never-ending collage of animal-themed videos being sent my way when I need a pick-me-up.
Your freshman year might not be mine. But generally, the people with whom you share your struggles and your joys freshman year will be bonded to you in ways you won’t even realize until it’s over. Don’t miss out on that.
Original Post
She interviewed me about my experiences at UNC, which resulted in 2 articles on the topic:
You can also find my previous musings on the subject here.